Have you ever taken a real hard look at your “friends”?
Since I started my journey to Dear Skinny Bitch, I’ve been asking myself why my “friends” never tried to stop me trying to self-destruct the way that I did. Make no mistake about it – I don’t blame anybody but myself for becoming the size of Orca the Whale, but it puzzled me that not one of my “friends” took me aside to have an honest conversation with me. So two things occurred to me… I am either NOT the type of person that you dare to be honest with OR having Little Lotta as a friend made them feel good.
What ever the reason – I’ve decided to put some of my friendships under a magnifying glass.
I remember reading once “If your presence can’t add value to my life – your absence will make no difference” and I’ve decided to take this to heart.
Losing weight can and will bring out either the good in your friends or expose them for who they truly are.
I have “friends” who know that I’m dieting – and STILL they bring chocolates, or tell me that ONE cookie won’t hurt me, or just have a cheesecake because its not THAT bad for me or like last week when a “friend” said that I’ve lost enough weight now because soon I will start to look old and haggard.
Now I’m not one of those people who wants a cheerleading squad following me around, but I also don’t want anchors in my life dragging me down. Nor do I want to cut out negative people in my life, because they have a way of inspiring me. After all – the power is in ME to decide whether I’m going to let people drain me or motivate me.
BUT… Toxic people are a whole different toilet to me. They sit like evil little Gargoyles waiting to pounce on you when you are having a weak moment trying to get you to do things that are bad for you.
- If you are an alcoholic – good friends will NOT invite you to a bar and buy you a drink – but a toxic friend would.
- If you are on a diet – good friends will give you green tea – but a toxic friend would plonk a cheesecake in front of you.
- If you are trying to stop smoking – a good friend will NOT blow smoke into your face – but a toxic friend would.
- If you are trying to take charge of your life – a good friend will be there to cheer you on – but a toxic friend would make fun of you and ridicule your journey.
I realised all of this when I sat at a lecture last night and this message popped up on my phone. For NO apparent reason, one of my co-workers decided that she needed to tell me this and it was important enough to do it right at that very moment.
This is a good friend – a toxic friend is one who told me last week that I must stop dieting now before I start looking like an old woman. (And may I just say that as usual I have NO idea how to take a compliment… *blush*)
So while I’ve been detoxing with food – I think the next step is to detox my friends as well. Purge the ones that are bad for me and nurture the ones who add value to me as a person.
And most importantly of all – open HONEST lines of communication with my friends and let them know that they ARE allowed to tell me that I’m busy with what ever self-destructive behaviour they see me do.
Life is just too damn short to waste and it sure as heck is too short to drag unwanted passengers around.
On the upside – THIS is my view today – isn’t it awesome?
Life sure is good right now…
Have a good day people and remember to smile at your enemies – it disconcerts the HECK out of them!